So what happened to me, I bet some of you are asking. All my happy chatter and then nothing. Friends close to me worry when I go silent. I am one of those people who hardly ever shuts up. Well maybe now that I am 56 I've quieted down a tad. Figure it's my brain aging and all that jazz. But go with my friends. If I shut my trap, I'm musing. Or sad, scared. Never in a deep funk though, hardly ever deal with stuff like that.
It was an 85 day I think, if I had to give myself a score. My teacher friend says if that's the grade I'd give myself I'm doing great. I am a perfectionist. Hadn't realized it until a few years ago. If you saw my inside hallway, or the bathroom I've yet to complete after five years, you would wonder about my claims. Okay my daughter is saying it's been seven years. Onward Sharon. Focus. The entrepreneurship side gets the students juices going. Today was no different. But I am learning maybe I have to give students more specific tasks to do. To perhaps let each table go to the computers one by one instead of my way: "okay time for entrepreneur class." No they don't run off like horses. But zip they sure get across the class quick. I also don't think I had made sure each child had enough to do. So a team might have had three folks plugging away today, one finishing a project and one twiddling his/her thumbs. But truly, most students don't twiddle. They will talk or move or whine. Better for them to work
I think it was a day about me more than them. Looking. Reassessing. Thinking how can I do things differently, better. Take meditation. The day before students were a little wiggly. That night I thought hmmm. There's a RIF employee in the room with me. I am the spokesperson for Reading is Fundamental locally. And they are one of the big sponsors for me while I work with the youth. Anywho (yes I meant what I just said) she meditates along with the class while I walk and remind folks to close eyes, relax. I asked her if she wanted to do the meditation, thinking she might have a skill set in that area that was stronger than mine. I was right. Those babies were gone, in another world in seconds. I am learning what I hope students will learn. People are on the planet to help and guide. If you let them you will spend less time roaming int he wilderness.
Late at night, looking over the next days work and how I might improve it, I thought about the day, the students, me. But more and more I think about teachers. I am convinced they must be angels, even the rotten ones. To be able to give ones full attention. To care about this child and that one. To look to see if Malcolm needs you, if Mary can keep up, If Ja'mal is on task after being distracted by his neighbor. To rub the back of the girl who always gives the answers as well as touching and smiling at the ones who don't (not on purpose for me just comes naturally). To make a course correction while teaching knowing it will mean more time at the computer late at night. To be ashamed at having raised ones voice a tad to loudly. Or to have passed by one child who needed you for another one only realizing to late what you've done. It is an awesome responsibility. It is difficult, heart touching work. But who else is supposed to do it?
As I said, I come about an hour early. I work late into the night. I consider myself blessed. They have let me into their world. They trust that I know what I am talking about. And everyday they draw closer. Not bad, I'd say. For a woman with a bathroom that people mistake for a closet.
No comments:
Post a Comment